
How to Move Out of State With Children Before Divorce – Legal Tips & Advice

When a marriage starts to fall apart, one parent might feel the need to relocate, either for safety or personal reasons. Relocating to another state could seem like a fresh start. However, if children are involved, the situation becomes more complicated. So, how do you move out of state with children before the divorce is finalized? What are the legal implications? Understanding your rights and the steps to take is crucial.
Below, we break down the key points you need to consider.
Can You Move to Another State With Children Before a Divorce?
In most cases, you cannot move out of state with your children while you are still married. Both parents share equal custody rights until a divorce agreement is in place. If one parent relocates without the other parent’s consent, the courts may treat this as parental abduction. Consequently, the children could be ordered to return to the other parent’s home. Moreover, relocating without proper consent could hurt your standing in future custody battles.
However, if you are determined to move, there are a few options available. These options could help you navigate the legal complexities while ensuring your children’s well-being. Here’s what to do:

Image by freepik | Know the rules before relocating children.
1. Gain Consent From Your Spouse
If both parents can agree, this is the simplest solution. In an amicable divorce, you may have a productive discussion with your spouse about where the children should live. Many divorces, in fact, are relatively low-conflict, which could make this approach feasible. However, if your divorce is high-conflict, gaining consent could be much harder. In such cases, your spouse might be unwilling to allow the children to live far away.
Even in a low-conflict divorce, your spouse might refuse. If that happens, you’ll need to explore other options.
2. Petition the Court for Permission
If gaining consent is not possible, you can petition the court for permission to move with your children. This option is especially necessary if staying with the other parent would jeopardize your children’s safety. For instance, if the other parent is abusive or neglectful, a court may allow you to move to protect your children.
To succeed in this process, you will need to prove that staying with the other parent endangers your children. The court will consider factors like domestic abuse or any special needs that the children may have. If the judge agrees that relocating is in the children’s best interest, they will grant permission for the move.
3. Relocate First, Set Up Custody Later
If the divorce is amicable or relatively low-conflict, you may move first and then negotiate custody later. For example, you could agree that the children will live with you during the school year and visit your spouse during holidays or summer vacations.
If your spouse does not agree to this arrangement, you can still relocate and build a case for full custody. Once the divorce is final, the court may award you full custody, allowing your children to live with you permanently.
4. Consider Your Children’s Wishes (If They Are Old Enough)
In New Jersey, children who are 14 or older can have an influence on custody decisions. If your child is old enough, you should consider asking them how they feel about the relocation. Be sure to approach the conversation without manipulation. The goal is to get their honest thoughts, not to influence their decision.
For children over 16, the court will likely give more weight to their preferences. Nonetheless, the court’s primary focus will still be the children’s best interests, not their preferences.
How to Move Out of State with Children Before Divorce – Legal Process
If gaining consent is not possible and you need to petition the court, here’s how to proceed:
1. Consult a Family Law Attorney: First, hire a lawyer who specializes in family law and custody cases. They can guide you through the process and ensure that you follow all the legal requirements.
2. File a Custody Petition: You will need to file a petition with the court. Your attorney will help you prepare and submit the necessary documents. You’ll need to explain why relocating is in the children’s best interests.
3. Provide Evidence Supporting Your Case: To increase your chances of success, you must present strong evidence. This evidence could include proof of an unsafe living situation or details about how the relocation benefits your children.
4. Prepare for a Court Hearing: If your petition is contested, you’ll have to attend a court hearing. During the hearing, a judge will consider all evidence before making a decision. The court may appoint a custody evaluator to assess what’s best for the children.
5. Follow the Court’s Order: If the court approves the move, they will also outline a visitation plan for the other parent. Both parents must follow the court’s decision to maintain a stable environment for the children.
What to Do If Your Spouse Moves With the Children

Image by zinkevych on freepik | Take quick action if your spouse moves children.
What happens if your spouse relocates with the children without your consent? In that case, you can file an emergency motion to have your children returned. Courts usually try to minimize disruption in the children’s lives, so they often prefer to keep children in their current homes and schools.
The sooner you act, the better. If you wait too long, it may appear that you consented to the relocation, which could weaken your case. Be sure to file the emergency motion and consult with a lawyer as soon as you learn about the move.
Moving out of state with children before a divorce can be challenging. You need to either gain consent from your spouse or petition the court for approval. If your spouse relocates with the children without your consent, you can file an emergency motion to get them back. Always consult with a family law attorney to ensure that you’re following the correct legal steps.
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